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No Matter What

Journal Entry: Sat Nov 8, 2008, 10:44 PM
  • Mood: Distressed
  • Listening to: Leona Lewis - Better In Time
  • Reading: Victoria's Secret Winter Casual catalog
  • Watching: Madagascar Escape 2 Africa
  • Playing: with my iPhone
  • Eating: Pecan crusted trout
  • Drinking: Sam Adams Winter Lager



Still I Stand

I lost my faith a long time ago. When your life gets exceedingly dark and you feel like there's no sense to the things that are happening around you, the last thing you want is to feel like you are not in control of your life. So you take back whatever control you can and you grow from it as best you can. I had to turn inwards for guidance and strength and I chose to believe in myself and that I can make my own way in life. Some people are stronger than me and can let it go and let God deal with it. Maybe my values are in complete disarray, maybe they're not. I will admit that I have felt devoid of something more spiritual in life recently. Right now there is not anything in life that I will miss if I didn't have it anymore, and that scares me. But I am where I am today because of it, and more importantly I am WHO I am because of my beliefs. You can take me as I am or you can ask me to change for you. But here I am, no matter what.


Commissions reopening soon, maybe?

Done and done.

Devious Comments

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:iconarcemise:
I think it's interesting that you say the ones who are stronger are the ones who turn to God. I say the ones who take responsibility for there own actions are the stronger ones. I believe in God, but I don't think he's as involved with what happens in this world as people think. He gave us legs to walk on, hands to build, and minds to imagine. Why would he give us all that if he didn't intend for us to use them?

--
Truly, I have a dizzying intellect
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I make games [link]
:iconimperfect-chaos:
I believe he is referring to the strength of being able to sacrifice what one has to do the right thing instead of clinging to it, though not exactly that of course.

--
Miff has a message for you.

-Ptooie!-
:iconimperfect-chaos:
Yeah, it can be a pretty huge wall to overcome. Not wanting to feel like you aren't in control of your life I mean. Of course, if God really can work good from all things and you are who you are today because of your choices, maybe who you are today would be able to do something the old you couldn't if you now received that kind of divine guidance you seem to be referring to. The possibilities are supposed to be endless, after all. Heck, maybe who you are now has more of that strength you mentioned than the old you?

I like playing devil's advocate to people when they make applicable statements in their journals, but I'm not sure if that's what that just was. Haha.

--
Miff has a message for you.

-Ptooie!-
:iconauria:
you are stronger now realizing this inside of you. Writing something like this says something to you, and now... almost suddenly its going to seem like something has changed. What? I have no idea, its individually yours.

Look at everything around you, nature is a good start. The sky, the trees, the grass the flowers ... oh the birds especially. You can see life live around you.

While I still question faith, I don't question life. It's too beautiful to look at and feel nothing. That will grow to people, and from people it will grow into your heart.

So while nothing will ever make sense, your gonna be okay with it... and still have that smile on your face.

:)

--
We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
:iconevikted:
At the time where you're at the deepest darkest moment, there's this moment of clarity that kind of shows up. I think that's the point where you realize it's time to move on and things will improve.

Sad that most of us go through this and even need it to help us.. but I don't think it's wrong at all. It's not what is better or worse. It is strength regardless wherever you take it from to keep going
:hug:
don't give up minhdo-san

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愛のために
:iconlastshot:
Buddhism teaches detachment. Perhaps you might try there.
:icondaimida:
Aw Minh, something happened? :( Cheer up!

--
-kiriban 543,210-
:icondee-sama:
I lost my faith too. But my friend tells me thats what I am missing... I don''t know entirely, though. ._.

--
次は金沢駅。金沢駅でございます。
新幹線のりば---------->[link]
:iconminhdo:
Kati, I never got anything in PayPal. You sure everything's ok?

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